Jamie and the Bobs

I’ve been inspired by Rahburt, of Yelling Quietly.  Several times, I’ve started to comment on his blog and tell some of my Robert-nesses.  But I’m wordy, so I brought it all here.

Do you know the song Fifteen Animals?  I posted it just before this.  I’ve got a few Bobs in my life.  

I live with Roberts.  Not one, but three.  I married the first one, (he’s the second) and kept my promise to name our firstborn after him (he’s the third.)  And then, my father-in-law moved in (and he’s the first.)  All the same name, all at the same address, and all with the same health insurance.  I do not recommend it.  

lol Our doctor’s office will robo-call us and say, “Robert has an appointment.  Enter the health record number to hear the details.”  If I frickin knew WHICH Robert they wanted, I might be able to do so.  

My standard answer to, “May I speak to Robert?” has become, “I’m his wife, may I help you?”  It confuses people, but less than asking “Which Robert?” and often gives me enough information for me to figure out which Robert they want.

My Robert is legally blind, my father-in-law is going deaf, and my son was just diagnosed on the autism spectrum.  I won’t label them blind, deaf, and dumb (Too rude, ‘cuz Bobby’s NOT dumb, he just has some trouble talking and he’s definitely NOT stupid.)  But I can laugh at the joke as I deal with the frustration that occurs daily in my household.

BTW, I’m buying at least three of these bracelets, because it’s quite appropriate in this household and just based on reading your blogs, I’m happy to share a little.  Image

Rahbert, you said, “Sometimes I’m scared I’m fighting a fight I can’t win.” And I wanted to give you a big hug. You touched me.  We all feel that way. I know that I feel that way daily.  I’m sure it’s not as in-your-face as yours is.

I work hard to quickly move my focus elsewhere, it’s something I cope with.  I have my own medical issues that occasionally wreak havoc, and I could, and sometimes do, easily spin on what ifs.  

Life is precious and fragile, it’s also messy and painful and frustrating.  Sometimes it’s full of joy, sometimes it sucks rocks.  I don’t know why we each chose the challenges we have, but I believe that I knew it before I got this body and stepped into this life.  It doesn’t make the challenges any easier, but they’re mine and there’s something I need to learn through experiencing them.

Things changed in my life when I realized that fear and worry causes me to miss the good stuff.  Fear can save your life and it can steal it from you, too. Life is uncertain, in the meantime, I’m enjoying the ride as best I can.  

My perspective tends to be that NO ONE wins.  Life…no one’s getting out alive.  I’ve come to believe that any appearances of winning are often illusions and delusions.  It’s perfectly okay to create them, it can be more fun, but it’s no more right than any other way.   

Do you know Abraham-Hicks and the Law of Attraction?  She says, “You can’t get it wrong, and you’ll never get it done.”   That’s not about hopelessness, it’s about the perfectly, imperfect, ever-changing experience that we call life.  It’s about releasing the expectation that you can’t be happy until you get it right and/or you get it done.  

The Law of Attraction works for me.  That philosophy helped me to learn about releasing fear and allowing the joy and miracle of right NOW.  It feels like the more I stay in this state of gratitude and joy, the more things work out for me.  Problems have been unravelling and solutions appearing.  

I still have moments of contrast, I’m still quite human and get frustrated and pissed off and do stupid things.  But they are becoming easier to cope with, I recover faster, and move on quicker.



5 thoughts on “Jamie and the Bobs

  1. Haha, what beautiful song. I love the doctor’s office scenario. You are a warrior. That is quite the combination of things that you live with on a day to day basis. I’m sure it’s hard to keep your sanity in such insane circumstances. I think it’s great that you can joke about it. I believe it’s necessary. Thanks so much for your intent to support me :).
    Yeah I was apprehensive when I posted that I was scared at times. I usually don’t voice my fears…I’m supposed to be the strong 1. But there are times when finances, physical recovery, lack of a significant other and other things jump on my back and the mountain looks insurmountable.
    Really liked this line: Fear can save your life and it can steal it from you, too.
    This one also: You can’t get it wrong, and you’ll never get it done.
    Thanks so much for this post. It will echo in my mind for some time.

    • Happy dance! Thank you, I’m glad you read it and liked it.

      Sanity is overrated…especially if it’s all an illusion anyway. I laugh a LOT, though it’s not always happy laughter, but it helps my heart and my spirit even when it sounds like I’ve lost my mind. (The plus side of practicing an insane cackle is that people leave you alone. lol)

      It’s always scary to admit weakness when you’re the strong one. But fear is best acknowledged and shared so it doesn’t eat you up.

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