This morning I was reading a post titled “Part 134, Relationship Rules in the True Way, and a Starship Rescue Planned,” by Dr. Kathryn E. May. Go read it, it’s worthwhile. I would post parts, but she prefers that the post remain in it’s entirety, and this is a long response.
Maintaining a loving attitude toward everyone around me, all day long, is not a simple exercise. Yes, this is applied mindfulness.
Sometimes I have to mindfully remove myself, either physically or just from the conversation, before I start strangling the ones I love. I think my problem lies in that I was partially raised by Homer Simpson. Luckily I was Lisa, not Bart. But we parent how we were parented, and I am ashamed to say that I’ve heard my father’s words slip from my tongue in moments of stress. DOH!
Practicing forgiveness is powerful and it starts with forgiving myself. I believe that when my children or my husband annoy me, it’s because they’re reflecting my creation back at me. The things about my son that bug me the most, are the things he does that are just like me. And it’s painful to look in that mirror sometimes.
Then I remember that it’s just a fun house mirror, and I’m looking at a terrible distortion of something that really isn’t that bad.
Same is true for public encounters. When I’m upset, angry, worried, rushed, or generally snarky, the people around me are too. Rather than get angrier, I’m learning to step away and get myself right again and the angry people seem to disappear from my universe. They can’t stand to be around me apparently. Yay!
It’s a whole lot easier to love everyone I come into contact with when they’re lovable, so first I have to love myself and be lovable.
In Dr. May’s post, I love the suggestion to get into connection with everyone you meet BEFORE you speak a word. Make eye contact and feel empathy for the person.
Making eye contact one is interesting in my household, with my partially-sighted husband, who does make eye contact, but when he looks at me is usually focused lower than that, and my autistic son, who doesn’t consistently make eye contact. (When I do, it seems to make him a little uncomfortable…interesting.)
I’ve been making eye contact and smiling at people in public, a lot for months now. As I walk through stores, sometimes even as I drive, I’ve connected with people. I’ve learned to savor the looks I get, some people quite obviously think I’m crazy or on drugs. Some don’t seem to see me at all. Some smile back. Some people actually talk to me! (Oh, and the babies just stare at me and I smile and stare right back.)
As I’ve done this, it has cemented the idea that we are all one. I have come across a few that are not of me, or like to think that they’re not. I have come across a few that my intuition said RUN! and I have, no time for questions right then.
I went to Dr. May’s post because of the word of a meteorite speeding toward Earth on a direct trajectory that is supposed to hit tonight. Of course, it’s not on the news at all. I am thankful to read Dr. May’s words that we are protected and it will be exploded before impact. I do so deeply hope that this event could finally provide an opportunity for Disclosure.
I appreciate the news, and I’ll fishing in the mainstream for corroboration, but there’s no point in my worrying too much about death raining down from “above.” We’re tiny little specks on a tiny little planet, a direct impact could wipe us out and there’s not a thing I can do about it but die with grace with love on my lips and in my heart. (And trust that I truly don’t die, that this is all really an illusion with really great special effects.)
Live each day as if it could be your last. Maybe it’s just my last day of living the status quo. (oooh, there’s a delicious thought!)